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″Hey Dariel, I think you′ve done some good work here, but I want you to seriousl
″Hey Dariel, I think you′ve done some good work here, but I want you to seriously consider these questions about argument and story for the final draft. The pieces are coming into place, but I′m still not sure what exactly your profile is yet. What story are you trying to tell? And what argument are you trying to make? Let these arguments shape the next draft– especially your thesis.″ Could you make sure the essay is telling a story, I want it to talk about the struggles and the hardships my father has to face when working at Con Edison and how New Yorkers should respect the workers at Con Edison like my father because the workers at Con Edison are risking their lives to help make sure the power in New York City is stable so that everything in New York City can function properly.
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